XXX DVD Reviews

Well the title, Boning The Big Babes is completely appropriate in that a boning is definitely needed cos these chicks remind me of junkyard dogs in need of a bone but where they got the word babes from I don’t know. I guess maybe they dig big ugly chicks but I at least prefer my BBWs to have at least one B stand for beautiful.  There are enough hot stacked and heavy milfs out there that there is no excuse for a movie like this to be made especially when not only are there no physically attractive attributes beyond big tits…but they don’t even have porn’s needed slut factor for hotness.

Thankfully the movie is not unendurably long and if you just concentrate on the massive globe-like tits and try to super-impose different faces/rest of bodies on these women you can make it through and maybe feel something similar to arousal when you are done.  A far better idea though would be to go through our bbw archives and pick a better movie…try the chunky series…chunky pizza party, chunky cheerleaders etc.  Only because these women have probably been insulted enough I will give Boning The Big Babes one patronizing cock-up.

A stacked actress to make a stacked deck…just like with any ‘best of’ compilation from anything that is successful Sex Acts was a sure winner for primo jackoff material before it ever hit the shelves.  Like picture a best of Dr. J and Michael Jordan basketball scenes dvd…instant seller that won’t disappoint any B-Ball fan out there.  When it comes to the big names of porn with literally hundreds of movie credits to their names in some cases and you take some of their hot scenes together…same deal for sex fans.  An instant hit.  Teri Weigel a former porn superstar….one of the first women to be known as a squirter in porn…now a milf superstar as well; kudos to you.

Sex Acts doesn’t waste too much time with moronic dialogue and each scene quickly segues into living up to the title with sex acts.  Now in many movies I would just say ‘oh typical vanilla bs’…not so for this one.  Teri has, had and always will have one of those slutty nature that transcends the moment and just comes through the screen at you.  She shows that indoors, outdoors, guys, other chicks, she has the magic touch to make them and herself cum over and over and if you enjoy hot sluttiness (and why watch porn if you don’t?) then it’s sure to make you cum too.  Four sploogetastically hard cocks-up for Sex Acts.

How the hell did this series ‘Girls Home Alone’ ever make it to 16?…I thought that the movies Im reviewing were supposed to all be hardcore but then along comes a movie like this that makes me go huh…is this from the playboy channel ? I mean okay, girls being at home and horny and masturbating is cool in most porn cos then some dude or dudes is going to come along and hop in the action and give her the fucking she was craving while shooting their loads all in/on her…very formula but proven to be very hot…but noooo not for Girls Home Alone 16 where we get to see them masturbate…ohhhh ahhhh wow…yawn.

Like seriously Im not being harsh on this movie…as much as any guy or any hot (hot meaning bisexual) chick I dig a movie where some super smoking hot babe is busying herself playing with her tits and giving her own salute to her charter of the four finger club preperatory (key word there preperatory) to getting totally jammed by some guy so that there is an intense sex interplay where everyone including me, the viewer, gets off.  The best you get in this Girls Home Alone movie is a bit of girl on girl action but even that seems more langurous and lazy rather than lusty.  Unless the point to the series is that women are lazy when left alone it misses the shot with me and only gets one lazy cock-up.

Ahhhh the women of porn give something back to the industry that made them the stars that they are today…what industry is that you ask ?  The movie industry ?  Yeah right buddy.  The stripping industry ?  Noooo.  The sex industry in general ?  Geeze noooo open your damn eyes.  The Plastic Cosmetic Industry.  Supposedly these chicks are supposed to be telling us their special recipe to being the slut-starlets that they are and then I guess any chick can be a porn star if you follow the steps that these chicks use…Which I guess might work if these chicks actually had any special secrets.

So basically the storyline is an excuse for a storyline and someone’s way of rationalizing it to have some unique flavor when it actually is very generic.  While hot and fuckable in every way the sluts in Flirts 3 don’t have any extra special fucking tricks or sexual techniques that I haven’t seen or experienced already and that I’m sure most women have already read about in a hundred different issues of Cosmopolitan.  What they did all have in common that made them stand out were these massive tit constructions that stood out to unrealistic proportions on their own…like they went for the boob job and then upgraded by saying ’super-size me’.  While there was nothing that set this movie apart from so many others I must give it credit in that the sex itself was hot and definitely something you can jack off too…so three jackable cocks-up for Flirts 3.

So hey…do you and the missus know any lesbian chicks that you think would act like less of a dyke if she knew how to properly appreciate cock ?  Wanna see something with her that will teach her that she can still have her pie but also get something to poke it with too ?  Then check out Strict Ass White Girl; a movie with some hot chick on chick action with babes who obviously love doing it with other babes, ass, pussy mouth, whatever…they do it all and obviously enjoy it yet also happily hop on the cock-slut train as soon as some cock enters the picture.

The formula for Strict Ass White Girl seems to be equal fun for everyone and in every way that they can put into this single movie.  Some hot chick on chick lesbo femdom action with spanking, bondage, riding crop action, forced orgasms, hot slut on slut kissing action….these chicks know how to pleasure each other and themselves and its like you can feel the sexual energy from them through the screen. Then the dynamic changes as some black stallion dude comes in and they all get to enjoying his cock and showing off their cock skills to each other as they work themselves to successions of squirting orgasms while all the while keeping the hot lesbian femdom routine happening between themselves.  A very rare yet well deserved five cocks-up for Strict Ass White Girl